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TRINITY FACTOR

Abundant living through the healing of the mind, body and soul.

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BREATHING THE BEAUTY OF GRIEF

Posted on November 7, 2015 at 12:47 PM Comments comments (142)
Recently I spoke with a friend of mine who is experiencing intense grief due to a  tragic loss of a beloved.  I too have had many losses this year.  More than most people experience in a life time let alone a year., so I have been told.  My losses may not be as great as my friend’s loss, but I am finding that grief can be a relative term.  In talking about ways to cope with grief through distractions, the thought came to me that we never lose that grief.  I used to think that when that horrible tearing pain of grief ended I would be able to move forward.  And until that happened, I would seek distractions to help me through the grief.  The reality is that the hole that grief bores in our heart stays and morphs through time.

A thought popped into my brain about the need for distractions to walk through grief. Allowing the quest to find beauty in the midst of my grief becomes my distraction. Allow living abundantly however that may look for me, be my distraction to grief. As heavy laden my heart, may I quest to find beauty again.  And I am finding that in the midst of discovering beauty, I might cry.  Crying is the pressure valve to my heart-a sacred act of worship.Tears are treasured by the Creator.And they can help, even but for a brief moment to wipe the scales of grief from my eyes.

I mustn't fight grief; rather embrace the searing pain of loss that makes beauty even more brilliant and precious when discovered. Beauty is beyond the darkness. Like faith, beauty exists. It is a part of the focus when I open my eyes, even just a wee peep to see the harsh light of my fractured, fragmented brokenness, that becomes the beautiful stained glass mosaic of my life. Living is previous, fragile, painful, bittersweet, and beautiful. I am discovering all at the same time.

Grief cannot be avoided.  Grief is an inevitable part of life. I cannot run from it, I cannot hide from it. From the time we are born, we are dying. It is an undeniable and ever present cycle of life. And just as the four seasons of life it has its’ place. Fall is necessary for death and decay to nourish new life.  Oh, the brilliant colors of Fall. Winter is a time of rest and the killing of  harmful germs amidst the frigid sparkly blue cold of newly fallen snows that echo the quiet stillness of the earth.   The Spring that brings renewal-new life-abundant life.  The trickling of melting winter that heralds in the first peep of tender new life springing up through the thaw.  Then comes the hot searing sun of Summer.  A time to play, explore and start the harvest for the coming winter.

We all deal with grief differently.  No one can tell us how we should dance to the tune of grief.  It is a journey that is as individual as our thumbprints.  Grief is a dance partner that steps on our toes when we least expect it to happen.  Grief is the sucker punch of life that takes our breath away.  Beauty is the inhale of living.

I have come to realize that we basically are holding our breaths in life.  When a babe is born, the first gulp of breath is a great lusty inhale.  And the last breath of earthly life is an exhale that can be as lengthy, agonizing or as suddenly as it takes to leave our bodies.

Holding my breath is exhausting at best and deadly, as grief can be.  Those moments between breaths, like those moments between thoughts are where peace abides-Divine love.

BREATHE---BREATHE DEEPLY---BREATHE IN ABUNDANCE---BREATHE DIVINE LOVE

Namaste and Abundant Blessings---

Heidi
Psalm 121:1-2

PEARL OF HOPE-MOUNTAINS OF FAITH

Posted on June 6, 2015 at 2:26 PM Comments comments (26)
In 2010, I had hit the track before dawn to walk off my already anxious day. The full moon hung like a rare pearl nestled in the gray velvet folds of the night sky.  I asked Abba to please give me a sign of hope that I would get through this very difficult time in my life.  As I started my third and final mile of my daily walk, I noticed the atmosphere grew darker and the temperature drop a few degrees as it always does before the dawning of each new day.   
 
I waited in great anticipation for the first chirp of the morning which would lead to a second note of awakening which would bring on a glorious symphony of song much like Handel's Messiah, heralding in a new day with new mercies.  As promised, I heard the first note and as I rounded the bend on the track, I looked up at the night sky which winked the first hint of dawn.  The outline of the mountain range still shrouded by night began to appear and like faith, the mountains were always there as they had been since the dawn of time and will be long after I leave this earthly realm, I just couldn’t see them through the darkness.  I watched the night sky turn a salmon pink hue and the pinnacles of the mountains began to barely cast a golden glow.
 
And just as I caught my breath at the beauty of the sunrise, a gentle quite voice roared like a great ocean wave crashing on the dry shore of my heart, "The same Creator, whose hand paints the first salmon swatch of a brand new day, creates new mercies just for you. Mercies not left over from a day that is gone and never to return, nor mercies borrowed from a day not yet created nor promised.  But brand new mercies made for this brand new day just for you, Heidi, for such a time as this”. 
 
The infinite Creator who hung the rare pearl of a full moon against the midnight gray velvet sky had me snuggled very close to the Divine heart which beats as one with mine.  The tears in my eyes which had bogged my steps dried like diamonds, and my step quickened for I knew that my petition for hope had been answered and my faith strengthened---JUST FOR THIS DAY---.
 
As I came off the track, the birds were in full chorus singing to my now uplifted heart the psalm of ascents sung by the ancient shepherd boy king, “I lift up my eyes unto the mountains-where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:1-2).
 
Oh, Holy One of Many Names, thank you that your mercies for your beloved children are new every morning.  Make us aware in a very real way, as only you can in our individual lives, how very close you hold us to your heart and that your love for us is eternal.  Amen. 
    

NEW MERCIES FOR A NEW DAY

Posted on July 13, 2014 at 3:39 AM Comments comments (16)
It is a universal truth that mourning lasts but for the evening and that joy comes in the morning.  Upon the dawning of a new day when our Creator paints those wide swatches of salmon pink upon the gray canvas of the dawn sky that those new mercies are created.  They are mercies not left over from a day that is gone, nor are they mercies borrowed from a day that has not yet been created nor promised.  Those new mercies are made uniquely for the new day that has been created.  They are mercies that are there for the taking and are as unique to us as individuals as our thumb prints.

When I was a little girl in Girl Scouting, we were making a Mother’s Day gift.  It was to be small keepsake picture that used my thumb print as the body of a mouse.  I presented this small token to my Momma, and with great delight as if I had just presented her with a priceless masterpiece she hung this small wooden framed picture on a tack in the breakfast nook and where it remained until my parent’s estate was dissolved. I ran across this memento while unpacking my belongs. With great care did my Mother keep that reminder of the uniqueness of her daughter. 

With even greater care does our Creator make the uniqueness of those mercies that are created for us with each new dawn.  And with even a greater love than a mother for her child does our eternal parent love and care for us.

Be encouraged that whatever you may be facing at this moment in time new mercies will meet you right where you are at.  The night can be long and intolerant and the pain never ceasing.  Push through knowing that there are brand spanking new mercies waiting for you upon the dawn.

SHINE BRIGHTLY SHINE

Posted on February 12, 2014 at 10:50 PM Comments comments (8)
Here is the thing about this thing called love.  It can be thrilling, it can be tantalizing, it can be tenacious and sometimes it can be exhausting.  But the thing about love is that it can’t ever be forgotten.  What love people give to others great or small is sacred.  Whether together or a thousand miles apart or on another realm, love cannot be destroyed, the bond is eternal.

Love can be wounded.  Pictures can be deleted.  The physical presence can be gone.  A computer reset and love letters burned.  But love is indelible, marked in the memory and engraved on the heart.  Every look, every wink, every breathless moment of love can never be taken out of the universe or the minds’ eye.

But do you know what really is amazing about love?  It far transcends some silly little man in a diaper holding a bow and arrow.  Love never dies like a dozen roses.  And love is as delicious as chocolate and the only weight that is added is to the heart!  So, now with the Beatle tune blasting in this old girl’s head----

“All we need is love. wah, wah wah, wha, wah.  All we need is love. wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. All we need is love, love.  Love is all we need.”

---I encourage you never to put up a Chinese fire wall of fear when it comes to love. 

Relationships may fade away.  The fire wall may burn down and love may ebb but it never really goes away.  It has been released into the universe.  Imagine the eons and eons of love that has already been released.  How time and eternity would change if we truly understood and harnessed that love. 

Love freely.  But first, love yourself freely.  Only then can you truly know how to love another.  Don’t be afraid of letting that love fly free.  Always hold love with an open hand for it is not yours to own.  If it is time to set it free, release it with blessings and let the tears nourish the soul.  And watch it fly to heights unknown.  Be grateful that you were given the gift of love.  And like that old corny poster that was plastered on my teenage bedroom ceiling mused- it might come back to you. 

Even then, if love is truly set free, there is no expectation or thought of it coming back.  There is however, the anticipation of watching perhaps from afar that love burst into a million brilliant stars and light up the night sky.  The love that is within you can also burst into a million brilliant stars and light up those in your world.   Release the love and watch it grow.

 




©2014 Heidi Parunak/TrinityFactor.info.  All  rights reserved.  This material may not be published, rewritten, broadcast, recorded or redistributed without express permission. 

Walking Out of My Shoes

Posted on January 11, 2014 at 9:53 PM Comments comments (15)
I got so tickled this morning when I was mall walking for our Saturday morning trainings with the Knoxville Track Club for the CHKM 2014.  It was raining cats and dogs and at the last minute I decided I would go to the gym instead.  It had been a bitterly cold week and I was wanting a bit of a break from the elements.  I got a call from one of the coaches and she said the gals were going to mall walk.  So, I decided to join them.

Now, I had been having a lot of trouble walking the past month or so.  My injuries from the previous year have healed but I just felt like my feet weren't working correctly.  My ankles were giving me problems and I found myself having to stop and stretch more than I usually do.  My New Balance runners that were bought for last years BW 2013 team were getting worn.  I noticed the traction grips on the bottoms were smooth from wear and the heals were getting worn but I didn't think that was the issue.  Then I noticed the same thing happening with my hiking boots that I purchased last spring.

I decided to slow down and study the situation for a few minutes.  My boots are now at least a half a size to a size too large.  I knew they were getting a bit loose so I would double sock and tie those laces even tighter.  That wasn't working after awhile and I realized this morning that they are simply too big. HA!  I realized the same for my runners this week when I started to jog and my heels literally lifted out of the back of the shoes.

However, there is something that is more meaningful about my shrinking feet.  When I was a young girl, I struggled with the fact that my feet are very broad with a high instep and no arch.  I had a lot of trouble finding shoes that would fit and were stylish.  It always caused great angst to go shoe shopping and my mother did everything she could to encourage her daughter that a size 10 wide shoe at the age of 13 was not the end of the world but rather indicative of a young woman who had a "firm understanding, dear".  A firm understanding of what I didn't quite understand at the time.  Though I knew then as I know now she was trying to find some humor to lighten those very tense shopping trips which usually ended up in a flood of tears and self incrimination.  As if I had control over the size of my feet.

But really, what is a mother to say to her only long awaited daughter after raising 3 sons when she can't wear a cute pair of little strappy sandals with a sharp pair of linen shorts and a fun halter top because her feet are too big, her thighs rub together and prevent the shorts from staying in place and her shoulders are too broad for a decent halter top?  Endless blisters in the name of fashion and a lack of appropriate looking shoes for a teenager with large broad feet were just a part of life.  And the numerous summers at the beach wearing sneakers to walk in the sand because I was not able to wear flip flops or huaraches are now sweet whimsical thoughts of a young girl coming of age in the '70's.

So, when I have those glorious moments like I have had this morning with the shoe issue, those early days are just precious memories of a life that seems so long ago yet just like yesterday.  I am so very, very grateful that I can walk and hike and take a stroll in the park to the extent that I wear out shoes and now literally walk/RUN out of them.  Who would have thought?

BE WELL





©2014 Heidi Parunak/TrinityFactor.info.  All  rights reserved.  This material may not be published, rewritten, broadcast, recorded or redistributed without express permission. 




FITNESS REVOLUTION

Posted on June 28, 2013 at 8:22 PM Comments comments (121)
Hiking, gym, cooking, gardening, writing, dogs, new floors, more hiking, more gym, gaining momentum and energy, strength and endurance.  It has been three months since the CHM 2013 and I feel as if I am just now getting used to not seeing the BWCT 2013 team, manager, and coaches.  For weeks after the team disbanded I felt disconnected.  I felt like something big just happened in my life and I let it slip through my fingers. 

I found myself regretting a lot about those five months.  If only I was the person then that I am now.  If only I had worked harder and cried less.  If only, if only, if only, if only.....  Then one of those proverbial "What light through yonder window breaks" moments happened.  I would not be the person I am today had I not been on that team with those people at that moment in my life.  Had I not struggled through some very dark moments and crossed that finish line (eventually) I would not be as well, content, strong and vibrant as I am today.

I fill my day's with just "doing life".  I start the day at the gym-early-with music or meditation.  While I am finishing up, I read The Wall Street Journal, The Huffington Post, The Boston Globe and The Washington Post on my phone.  I go home, clean up and start the day.  Seems dull and boring.  It is a rhythm of life that I am following at this point in time.  I am part of a duet at the fellowship I attend.  When I lift my voice to sing, I get lost in the moment never wanting to forget the decades I spent not being able or wanting to listen to music let alone sing.

Everyday is different.  I awake wondering what the day is going to hold and be open to anything that may come.  I see my hospice patients as they need me.  On those moments when I feel the slightest angst at not had made something of myself, I have to remember where I came from.  I have to remember that I no longer live behind a veil of tears.  I have stepped into the marvelous light that sometimes blinds me with its' brightness.  I am loved and I can give love.  I am aware of life.  Those wonderful moments of going home to my beloved mountains hiking in my zone only to find myself singing with birds and the breeze that rushes through the trees.  Those moments I know that I will live forever.  I wonder if that what it means by being changed from glory to glory.

This week when I went home, I made a comment that if I came up MIA, it is because I found the portal to my bliss.  Perhaps I am walking that divine path that was intended.  This is a good thing.  The future is mine for the taking.  It is mine for the making.  As is the NOW that I live.  Have a safe and cool summer.  BE WELL!

Namaste and abundant, abundant blessings!

Heidi





BIKES, BUCKET BOXES and HOPE

Posted on March 5, 2013 at 12:54 PM Comments comments (12)
In one scene of the cult classic Harold and Maude, older seasoned Maude played by Ruth Gordon advises the young Harold that (my paraphrase) "you gotta go with gusto in this life".  In my minds eye I can still see the wizen character with a twinkle in her eye and fist clenched in determination trying to encourage this young man to take this old world by the tail and give it all you've got.
 
This brings me to my bucket box.  A few years ago the movie The Bucket List became popular.  When I started my journey I decided to make one.  I start including everything and anything that I might want to do or experience even if it was just for a taste.  I decided at the time that for every accomplished entry I crossed off, I would add another.  This list is endless.
 
To date, I have experienced a few things even if it has just been a taste.  Among others, two that I have scratched off my list are "take a swing dance class" and another that I have chosen to pursue is  "learn to play the guitar."  Over the years, I have collected a file of information of things on my list that I keep handy when an opportunity arises for an adventure.  It now has become necessary for me to create a Bucket Box for my Bucket List information.  Right now it is a New Balance shoe box.  How apropos!
 
My latest Bucket List information acquisition is a brochure on learning to ride a motorcycle which I obtained at the Woman's Expo last Saturday.  I have always wanted to drive a motorcycle.  I have never wanted to own one or use one as a mode of transportation.  I have never desired to travel across country on one.  My desire since I was a young woman has been to drive a bike head long into the wind, knees to the breeze, full throttle down a stretch of highway even if it is just for five minutes.
 
Now, before some of you get too much of a visual of this old girl as a biker babe with a black leather bustier, fish net stockings and chaps, I will tell you that all I want for this brief excursion besides full denim cover and boots is a matte black  skull helmet with the biggest, blackest, leather laced, braid attached to the back (gotta' have something blowin' in the wind).  Seriously!
 
So, imagine my delight when after an incredible time on stage with the Biggest Winner 2013 team being ambassadors for health and fitness at the expo, I found the Harley-Davidson booth (did I mention the bike MUST be a Harley)?   When I saw the woman standing there pamphlets in hand I was eager to speak with her.  Before I could say anything she congratulated me on my success thus far and commended me to continue on my journey.  I thanked her and briefly mentioned my interest in riding and that now I probably am getting enough balance and strength to actually fulfill this dream.  I filled out a ticket for a drawing for a free lesson, chatted for a few more seconds and off I went, treasure in hand!
 
Life for all of us holds infinite opportunities and endless possibilities.  There is always an adventure to be had.  Sometimes adventures come our way and sometimes we have to go after them.  Either way, I want to be ready!
 
Namaste and abundant, abundant blessings,
 
Heidi
©2013 Heidi Parunak/TrinityFactor.info.  All  rights reserved.  This material may not be published, rewritten, broadcast, recorded or redistributed without express permission.

CHANGES

Posted on January 17, 2013 at 8:21 AM Comments comments (14)
Change is not easy.  Nor does change have to be a burden.  It can be as difficult or as easy as I perceive it.  I was taking a CrossFit class yesterday and the instructor whom I had known for a few years noticed how much I had changed.  She remembered me three years ago when I was 400 pounds plus and she has watched my journey.
 
She asked if it had been hard.  I only smiled as I know that the hardest thing when I decided to change was changing my mindset.  I had to care about myself enough to want to change.  I had to have compassion for myself.  How can I have compassion for others if I have no compassion for myself?
 
The concept of a changed mindset, the initiative to move and the small dietary changes can be problematic at best.  As an Ambassador of Health and Wellness, I hear concerns about mental health issues, how to change yourself especially with a family.  How to change a family's diet without a full blown mutiny.  How to make changes within yourself without a full blown mutiny!
 
What I am also hearing is that some folks see guys like Byran and BJ and seem to think they have to be like them now or they have to become an athlete.  These two great guys are each on different journey's for their own reasons.  We all have different goals in mind.  We all are at different fitness levels with different goals and abilities.  Together our team is a great diversified mix and can be a powerful force for CHANGE to health and wellness.
 
My goal three years ago was to walk again and become as healthy and well as I could.  I didn't know what the end result would be-still don't.   I just knew that I had to make a CHANGE.  I had to MOVE.  I never had in mind to be on the Biggest Winner Team 2013.  I never even thought I could be as active as I am now.  I wasn't even  looking to future endeavors.  I was taking each day as it came, live in the NOW and set a tiny movement and dietary goal for each day.  I just knew I didn't want to stay where I was.
 
I knew not to expect perfection.  I knew there would be struggles.  I knew there would be times when I would seemingly blow it.  I also knew I never had to start over if I did mess up.  I began to look at this journey into wellness as I would a hike or a walk.  If I am hiking and trip on a rock and fall down, I would not go back to the trail head and start my hike over again.  I would pause and check out how I was feeling.  If I didn't see what had tripped me up, I would be mindful to be more AWARE of what is ahead of me.  I would get back up and  proceed FORWARD from that point.   I would also try to be mindful to RELAX and enjoy the beauty around me in the process. Notice I said PROCESS. 
 
My message has been to start the process of  CHANGEby taking small steps.  MOVE according to your personality and life situation.   Consult a physician to determine your health and monitor your PROGRESS.  Find an expert to help with food choice suggestions and movement suggestions.  Seek an expert to talk with about feelings that will come up in this process.  Be pro-active in your own wellness journey.  For me it started simply my moving my feet and hands in bed when I awake.  Small, small dietary changes that have led to bigger ones that I can live with.  It is a daily commitment to have compassion for myself.
 
Back to the CrossFit instructor's comment.  When I was weighed and measured two months ago, I remember the feeling that I had when I was measured.  When I started my journey three years ago  I had no measurements to go by.  The tape measure which is 60" would not fit around my hips, waist or bust.  I lacked a good foot or more around my hips before the ends of the tape measure would meet.  The tape measure would not come together around my bust or my waist.  Two months ago, the ends of the tape measure came together.  I am looking forward to the day when the ends will overlap!
 
Has it been hard?  When I compare who I was then to who I am now the concept of it being "hard" now pales to what I experience on a day to day basis.  In my struggles I know I am no longer bound.  I am FREE.  Freedom has a new meaning for me.  For me it is being content where I am at any given moment.  Freedom is the knowledge that I have choices.  I can CHANGE what is not healthy whatever that may be for me within myself.  When I CHANGE within myself, my life situation will CHANGE also.  I can relax and be KIND to myself.  I no longer have to be STUCK.  I am no longer FEARCHANGE.
 
I am aware of the fact that folks will make excuses not to change. I know I did for many, many years.  I am aware I still struggle with this.  The feeling of well being and clarity of mind that comes from movement and dietary change has always been the catalyst to keep me moving. 
 
My encouragement is to start the process of CHANGE.  I have learned that the grip of fear and panic I used to live in only has the power that I give it.  Just for NOW, make small steps and changes to take fear and panic by the tail and MOVE forward.  I may never know who is going to read this and start making those changes but know that I am walking beside you, cheering you on in spirit---  YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
 
As anything in life the daily decision to MOVE and CHANGE truly is MIND OVER MATTER.  Just for the  NOW - I choose to use my MIND where it MATTERS.
 
NAMASTE and ABUNDANT, ABUNDANT BLESSINGS!
 
Heidi
 
---to live in the NOW, I have already WON---

©2013 Heidi Parunak/TrinityFactor.info.  All  rights reserved.  This material may not be published, rewritten, broadcast, recorded or redistributed without express permission.
 
 
 
 
 

RING IN THE NEW YEAR-LEARN FROM THE OLD

Posted on December 29, 2012 at 9:18 AM Comments comments (162)
OK-so.  To be honest with you, I didn't think I had much to say.  I hadn't planned on a year end blog and thought I would let the New Year ring in by itself.  HOWEVER, we on the Biggest Winner Marathon Team 2013 were gently encouraged to update our blogs.
 
I woke up this morning with two sick dogs, a mouse in the house who at least is no longer in the pantry and one lone roach left from a Christmas gift that had been given a few weeks ago.  Did I mention that the washing machine has chosen not to work this morning?
 
Between running up and down the stairs to the laundry room with armfuls of soiled linen and couch covers, strongly encouraging the mouse that he needs to take up residence somewhere else and pulling the kitchen apart one more time to make sure everything  is clean so I can spray one more time for the roach issue, I find myself smiling that I am alive, healthy and well this new year to be doing all of this in ABUNDANCE!
 
Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary (1981) defines ABUNDANCE as 1: an ample quantity: profusion  2: affluence, wealth  3: relative degree of plentifulness .
 
Today, I am grateful to have an ample quantity of animals mainly 2 pups (have to include just temporarily the mouse and the roach).  I am grateful for these dogs who are a constant source of delight and life and yes, MESS (where there is life there is mess).
 
I am grateful for a warm home in which to reside (the mouse likes it too-not for long).  I am grateful for a pantry that is plentiful with good food-simple fare but healthy none the less.  I am grateful to be starting another year healthier and stronger than I was at the beginning of 2012.
 
I am excited about the upcoming year of 2013 with all  the potential and possibilities it already holds.  I am learning to look at the past as if it were rear view mirror in a vehicle.  I only want to briefly glance back to see if I am safe or if there is potential danger coming my way.  I don' t want to glance back for too long because I will miss what is ahead and not see what is coming towards me.
 
This morning I realize just how wealthy a woman I am.  Life, love and health means more to me than all the silver and gold, houses or land that I could ever own.
 
So, I am off to doctor the pups, call a repairman or better yet maybe a trip to Sears for a new washer and dryer, coax a mouse into a different residency (hopefully for his sake a warm one) AND prevent a potential roach situation. Segway-how can one lone baby roach reek such emotional havoc?  As I finish this blog, I glanced at the TV and saw the promo for the upcoming marathon.  To think of  the possibility of this old girl crossing that finish line---
 
A VERY HAPPY, HEALTHY AND ABUDNATLY PROSPEROUS 2013 TO YOU AND YOURS
 
NAMASTE andABUNDANT, ABUNDANT BLESSINGS
 
Heidi

©2012 Heidi Parunak/TrinityFactor.info.  All  rights reserved.  This material may not be published, rewritten, broadcast, recorded or redistributed without express permission.
 
 

REJOICING: REMEMBERING DAY 1

Posted on December 18, 2012 at 2:05 PM Comments comments (23)
My debut on Missy Kane's Fit and Fun Show aired this morning.  As I watched I was reminded of my first day that I was to meet the team of Biggest Winner 2013.  We had to fast for a base line blood test.  I had a restless night and woke up around 3AM with a splitting headache and equally upset tummy.  I was scared, excited and not really sure what I had gotten myself into.  The only thing I knew to do was draw a tub of the hottest water I could stand and try to relax.  I had to get on the road by 6AM so I had enough time to try to get myself together.
 
As I allowed the hot water to run and the steam to rise around me I was transported three years back to a time when I could not step over the edge of the tub to take a shower.  I was not able get down and sit in the tub or lift myself up out of the tub.  Nor would I have been able to fit into the tub itself let alone have enough room for the water to surround my body. 
 
At this remembrance my heart began to beat rapidly and I thought my head was going to blow off my shoulders.  I put a hot wash cloth on my head and started sobbing with tears of overwhelming gratitude.  My husband awoke and came into the bathroom to see what was wrong.  I took one look at his precious smile mixed with concern and started laughing when I realized what I must have looked like. 
 
I shared with him my thoughts and we agreed this was a GREAT way to start Day 1.  We thought better of taking a photograph but that moment is indelibly marked in my memory.  My headache eventually subsided and I made my way to my first meeting.  A delicious fruit salad and a cup of hot coffee was very much enjoyed after my blood sample was taken.
 
Almost six weeks have passed since that first meeting.  I have lost an additional  12 pounds.  There have been good days and challenging days.  I have met and look forward to getting to know my team mates and those professionals and encouragers that are helping us all.
 
At one point in watching the show this morning, I momentarily forgot that I was the woman exercising with Missy and gained a renewed sense of encouragement and excitement to continue on this incredible journey to wellness and wellbeing.  If she can do it, so can I.  SO CAN WE ALL!
 
Namaste and Abundant, Abundant blessings,
 
Heidi
©2012 Heidi Parunak/TrinityFactor.info.  All  rights reserved.  This material may not be published, rewritten, broadcast, recorded or redistributed without express permission.