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Abundant living through the healing of the mind, body and soul.
Abundant living through the healing of the mind, body and soul.
My Blog
Blog
BREATHING THE BEAUTY OF GRIEF
Posted on November 7, 2015 at 12:47 PM |
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Recently I spoke with a friend of mine who is
experiencing intense grief due to a
tragic loss of a beloved. I too
have had many losses this year. More than
most people experience in a life time let alone a year., so I have been told. My losses may not be as
great as my friend’s loss, but I am finding that grief can be a relative term. In talking about ways to cope with grief
through distractions, the thought came to me that we never lose that
grief. I used to think that when that horrible
tearing pain of grief ended I would be able to move forward. And until that happened, I would seek
distractions to help me through the grief.
The reality is that the hole that grief bores in our heart stays and
morphs through time. A thought popped into my brain about the need for
distractions to walk through grief. Allowing the quest to find beauty in the
midst of my grief becomes my distraction. Allow living abundantly however that may
look for me, be my distraction to grief. As heavy laden my heart, may I quest
to find beauty again. And I am finding that
in the midst of discovering beauty, I might cry. Crying is the pressure valve to my heart-a sacred
act of worship.Tears are treasured by
the Creator.And they can help, even but
for a brief moment to wipe the scales of grief from my eyes. I mustn't fight grief; rather embrace the searing pain of loss that makes
beauty even more brilliant and precious when discovered. Beauty is beyond the
darkness. Like faith, beauty exists. It is a part of the focus when I open my
eyes, even just a wee peep to see the harsh light of my fractured, fragmented brokenness,
that becomes the beautiful stained glass mosaic of my life. Living is previous,
fragile, painful, bittersweet, and beautiful. I am discovering all at the same
time. Grief cannot be avoided. Grief is an inevitable part of life. I cannot
run from it, I cannot hide from it. From the time we are born, we are dying. It
is an undeniable and ever present cycle of life. And just as the four seasons
of life it has its’ place. Fall is necessary for death and decay to nourish new
life. Oh, the brilliant colors of Fall.
Winter is a time of rest and the killing of harmful germs amidst the frigid sparkly blue cold
of newly fallen snows that echo the quiet stillness of the earth. The Spring
that brings renewal-new life-abundant life.
The trickling of melting winter that heralds in the first peep of tender
new life springing up through the thaw. Then
comes the hot searing sun of Summer. A
time to play, explore and start the harvest for the coming winter. We all deal with grief differently. No one can tell us how we should dance to the
tune of grief. It is a journey that is
as individual as our thumbprints. Grief
is a dance partner that steps on our toes when we least expect it to
happen. Grief is the sucker punch of
life that takes our breath away. Beauty
is the inhale of living. I have come to realize that we basically are holding
our breaths in life. When a babe is born,
the first gulp of breath is a great lusty inhale. And the last breath of earthly life is an
exhale that can be as lengthy, agonizing or as suddenly as it takes to leave
our bodies. Holding my breath is exhausting at best and deadly,
as grief can be. Those moments between
breaths, like those moments between thoughts are where peace abides-Divine love.
BREATHE---BREATHE DEEPLY---BREATHE IN ABUNDANCE---BREATHE
DIVINE LOVE Namaste and Abundant Blessings--- Heidi Psalm 121:1-2 |
PEARL OF HOPE-MOUNTAINS OF FAITH
Posted on June 6, 2015 at 2:26 PM |
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In 2010, I had hit the track before dawn to walk off my already
anxious day. The full moon hung like a rare
pearl nestled in the gray velvet folds of the night sky. I asked Abba to please give me a sign of hope
that I would get through this very difficult time in my life. As I started my third and final mile of my
daily walk, I noticed the atmosphere grew darker and the temperature drop a few
degrees as it always does before the dawning of each new day. I waited in great anticipation for the first chirp of the morning
which would lead to a second note of awakening which would bring on a glorious
symphony of song much like Handel's Messiah, heralding in a new day with new
mercies. As promised, I heard the first
note and as I rounded the bend on the track, I looked up at the night sky which
winked the first hint of dawn. The
outline of the mountain range still shrouded by night began to appear and like
faith, the mountains were always there as they had been since the dawn of time
and will be long after I leave this earthly realm, I just couldn’t
see them through the darkness. I watched
the night sky turn a salmon pink hue and the pinnacles of the mountains began to
barely cast a golden glow. And just as I caught my breath at the beauty of the sunrise, a
gentle quite voice roared like a great ocean wave crashing on the dry shore of
my heart, "The same Creator, whose hand paints the first salmon swatch of
a brand new day, creates new mercies just for you. Mercies not left over from a
day that is gone and never to return, nor mercies borrowed from a day not yet
created nor promised. But brand new mercies
made for this brand new day just for you, Heidi, for such a time as this”. The infinite Creator who hung the rare pearl of a full moon
against the midnight gray velvet sky had me snuggled very close to the Divine
heart which beats as one with mine. The
tears in my eyes which had bogged my steps dried like diamonds, and my step
quickened for I knew that my petition for hope had been answered and my faith
strengthened---JUST FOR THIS DAY---. As I came off the track, the birds were in full chorus singing to
my now uplifted heart the psalm of ascents sung by the ancient shepherd
boy king, “I lift up my eyes unto the mountains-where does my help come
from? My help comes from the Lord, the
Maker of heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:1-2). Oh, Holy One of Many Names, thank you that your mercies for your beloved
children are new every morning. Make us
aware in a very real way, as only you can in our individual lives, how very
close you hold us to your heart and that your love for us is eternal. Amen. |
THE BED
Posted on April 5, 2015 at 2:23 PM |
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THE BED Let’s get this out on the table at the beginning of
this musing. And I
am not going to sugar coat that fact nor is it necessary to do so. Life is not fair, nor is life just. I don’t why we presume it will be. Once I accepted that truth, it has made it
easier for me to not have unrealistic expectations of people, places or things. Life can be very, very difficult. Life can become unbearable and unmanageable. People can hurt and disappoint. People can be evil. People can be annoying. People can be self-serving, which is utterly
devastating. It is understandable how
one can lose the will to live. Yet, I
have to remember that ALL people must be treated with dignity and respect regardless
of their character defects as we ALL have them. I have been through a very difficult time in the
past few months of no harmful intent fault of my own.
I have felt devalued, abandoned, betrayed and for the most part like a disposable
commodity. And I have been banging
around trying to figure out where to go from here.
Yet, I have continued to walk through unexpected doors that opened as I have learned to do even though I am lacking in confidence and "want to". Because of that action, good things are coming my way but I have found no solace in those gifts
from above. So, last night being completely devastated, and
irritated, I asked The Creator to give me some sign that I was headed in the
right direction. I was getting weary of slaying
dragons that were finding their way to me.
And I was getting irritated with life in general. Just sayin’--- When I awoke, I decided that I was going to go to
Lowe’s to get some herbs for my kitchen.
Yesterday, I had helped to run an errand with a patient to get some
herbs for her home. For some reason, that
sparked my mojo. I rearranged the
kitchen to make a spot in the window for an herb box. And I decided to move my study around to another
room that has A LOT of light and space. Now
mind you, I am not a happy camper but no one promised that happiness is a
feeling. So, I proceed to move things
around. A few days ago, I saw a precious vintage steel bed
frame for sale outside of a home in the neighborhood. It had a homemade sign that said, FOR
SALE-STEEL BED-$40. I couldn’t shake the
thought of that bed and knew that was the perfect thing to put in my study to
have a place to rest between studies and writing. Somehow I got my mojo going to potentially move furniture, and set out to
find that house. We are in a cold snap, it was early and I didn’t
expect the bed to be outside or available.
I prayed to find the house with hopes of knocking on the door and meeting
the owner. I drove around the neighborhood
trying to remember where I had noticed that bed and I saw a woman outside a
house having her morning smoke. I
paused, rolled down the car window and asked if this was the house that had the
steel bed for sale. Her eyes lit up and
she said, “Yes, it is”. She invited me
to the porch to fetch a piece of the bed for me to look at when I heard a man’s
voice request that I come in. There in the
living room surrounded by medical supplies lay a man in a hospital bed who was
the owner of the steel bed. He wanted to
sell the bed to make room for a larger bed when he moves back into his bed room
in hope of his recovery. The woman who is his sister and now his care giver
introduced us. The man proceeded to tell
me the story of the bed. It was one of
two beds that his father rescued from the Old Knoxville Hospital before it was
torn down many, many years ago and is now the site of the Knox County Health
Department. This was the better of the
two beds and the other had long been disposed of. His father had painted it yellow. I told them a bit about myself, my call and where my
future was taking me and the man’s eyes lit up as he had been a long term
employee of the hospital that I will be doing a CPE internship beginning this May. He and his sister are people of faith. And as we chatted, I realized that this steel
bed, that I have intentions of putting in my study came from an old hospital
and had held those patients I love and whom I am called and long to serve. I made the transaction, gave them my phone number,
hugged some necks and noticed their eyes shown brighter then when we first met. I don’t think that it takes a rocket
scientist to realize that this was no coincidence that I should seek out this
bed from a humble home, with humble people trying to make ends meet at the last
of the month before payday by selling a priceless family heirloom to a
struggling chaplain trying the best she can to make sense out of a vapor called
life which was never meant to make sense as life is a mystery--- (The afghan on the bed is one my mother made when I went to Maryville College. She made all of her children afghan's in their school colors and the year of their projected graduation. My graduation date is a bit different but then again so am I---) |
PORTALS OF HEAVEN
Posted on October 21, 2014 at 3:10 AM |
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HOW TO FIND A RAINBOW
Posted on August 25, 2014 at 4:54 PM |
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I was up at
Look Rock Tower last week seeking renewal and refreshment after a very long but
productive week. I was waiting for the
sun to burn off the haze of an early morning fog that had laced the mountain
range.
I noticed a
wind had whipped up that swayed the trees and the already dense fog turned ominously
darker and the temperatures dropped as will happen right before a storm. My heart skipped a beat as I knew that I was
at the “top of the world” looking 360 degrees from North Carolina to Maryville
around to Knoxville over to Townsend and back to North Carolina. Surely, I thought, after the storm comes and
the rains start to subside, I will see a rainbow. And never a better place to find one. So, as I settled down and waited for the
storm to come, I remembered the lesson that I learned a few years ago about
finding a rainbow after the storm. Here are a
few clues for finding a rainbow. First
of all you have to look for them and trust that they are going to be
there. Look toward the sun when finding
a rainbow. Rainbows appear when the sun comes out after a
storm. And the sun always comes out
after a storm. It has since the
beginning of time and it will continue to come out until the end time. As surely as the sun rises and sets, it
appears after the storm clouds start to subside and dissipate. You don’t always have to wait for the rains
to completely come to a standstill to see a rainbow as the sun sometimes shines
before the rains cease. Look through the
droplets. Sometimes the biggest rain
droplets come at the very end which makes the colors of the rainbow even more
vivid and brilliant. And sometimes you
will find a double rainbow! Well, back this
supposed storm I had been waiting on for an hour and a half. A fog had completely settled on Look Rock
Tower and I was confused as to why the action had settled down. I was sitting in the midst of cold, damp fog
waiting to find my rainbow when a ranger came up the ramp and I asked if there
was storm brewing. He said that there
was no storm front expected and that I was actually sitting in the middle of a
cloud! I told him about the
manifestation of what I thought was a pending storm and he told me that is what
happens when a cloud settles.
I had no
idea that a cloud had any activity associated with it. I just looked at them as white fluffy patches
of water that brought great delight in imaginings of shapes or gray ominous
patches that brought promises of rainbows.
I had just been given a gift of experiencing a cloud gently yet with
great power surround me like a mantel around my shoulders. How fortunate can a gal get? What I have
to take from this day of renewal is the reminder that rainbows appear after
storms. And I can count on the fact that
there is never just one storm over the course of a life time. As I grow older it seems like the storms can get
a little more angry and the rains pelt down with a sting that can be welting.
I have come to
learn to accept that fact. I have to
realize that the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow can be found. Sometimes the gold is in the form of a friend
that walks with you through the storm and assures you that you will come
through even though they are walking through a storm of their own. Or a simple gesture of a friend who cares
enough to have heard you didn’t make your coffee that morning and hands you a
cup to stave off a headache due to lack of caffeine.
Gold comes
in the form of patients I meet every day whose courage humbles me. Gold comes in the form of nurses, doctors,
administrators, healthcare professionals and food service workers whom I serve
with all working together for the common good.
Gold comes in the form of family and friends I see waiting diligently and
patiently for their loved ones to return home. All I can do
is to encourage you to keep your face to the sun. Find that rainbow. Your circumstances might not change. Your heartache and grief may still be
magnified. But I believe that we all will
find a way through the storm. Don’t be foolish
as this gal to think that we can walk through this life alone. I have also learned there are sojourners along
the way named friend who can help lift my face toward the sun when I can’t lift
my own. Love them with all of your
heart. Revel in their friendship and never
take advantage of this golden gift from God. Friends are put into our lives for a reason, a
season or a life time. It doesn’t matter
for how long as we only have this moment in time. We only have NOW.
©2014 Heidi Parunak/TrinityFactor.info. All rights reserved. This material may not be published,
rewritten, broadcast, recorded or redistributed without express
permission.
|
SHINE BRIGHTLY SHINE
Posted on February 12, 2014 at 10:50 PM |
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Here is the
thing about this thing called love. It
can be thrilling, it can be tantalizing, it can be tenacious and sometimes it
can be exhausting. But the thing about
love is that it can’t ever be forgotten.
What love people give to others great or small is sacred. Whether together or a thousand miles apart or
on another realm, love cannot be destroyed, the bond is eternal. Love can be
wounded. Pictures can be deleted. The physical presence can be gone. A computer reset and love letters
burned. But love is indelible, marked in
the memory and engraved on the heart.
Every look, every wink, every breathless moment of love can never be
taken out of the universe or the minds’ eye. But do you
know what really is amazing about love?
It far transcends some silly little man in a diaper holding a bow and
arrow. Love never dies like a dozen
roses. And love is as delicious as chocolate
and the only weight that is added is to the heart!
So, now with
the Beatle tune blasting in this old girl’s head---- “All we need is love. wah, wah wah, wha, wah. All we need is love. wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. All we need is love, love. Love is all we need.” ---I encourage you never
to put up a Chinese fire wall of fear when it comes to love. Relationships may fade away. The fire wall may burn down and love may ebb
but it never really goes away. It has
been released into the universe. Imagine
the eons and eons of love that has already been released. How time and eternity would change if we
truly understood and harnessed that love. Love
freely. But first, love yourself
freely. Only then can you truly know how
to love another. Don’t be afraid of
letting that love fly free. Always hold love with an open hand for it is not yours to own. If it is
time to set it free, release it with blessings and let the tears nourish the
soul. And watch it fly to heights
unknown. Be grateful that you were given
the gift of love. And like that old corny
poster that was plastered on my teenage bedroom ceiling mused- it might come
back to you. Even then,
if love is truly set free, there is no expectation or thought of it coming
back. There is however, the anticipation
of watching perhaps from afar that love burst into a million brilliant stars and
light up the night sky. The love that is
within you can also burst into a million brilliant stars and light up those in
your world. Release the love and watch
it grow.
©2014 Heidi Parunak/TrinityFactor.info. All
rights reserved. This material
may not be published, rewritten, broadcast, recorded or redistributed without
express permission.
|
Walking Out of My Shoes
Posted on January 11, 2014 at 9:53 PM |
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I got so tickled this morning when I was mall walking for our Saturday morning trainings with the Knoxville Track Club for the CHKM 2014. It was raining cats and dogs and at the last minute I decided I would go to the gym instead. It had been a bitterly cold week and I was wanting a bit of a break from the elements. I got a call from one of the coaches and she said the gals were going to mall walk. So, I decided to join them. Now, I had been having a lot of trouble walking the past month or so. My injuries from the previous year have healed but I just felt like my feet weren't working correctly. My ankles were giving me problems and I found myself having to stop and stretch more than I usually do. My New Balance runners that were bought for last years BW 2013 team were getting worn. I noticed the traction grips on the bottoms were smooth from wear and the heals were getting worn but I didn't think that was the issue. Then I noticed the same thing happening with my hiking boots that I purchased last spring. I decided to slow down and study the situation for a few minutes. My boots are now at least a half a size to a size too large. I knew they were getting a bit loose so I would double sock and tie those laces even tighter. That wasn't working after awhile and I realized this morning that they are simply too big. HA! I realized the same for my runners this week when I started to jog and my heels literally lifted out of the back of the shoes. However, there is something that is more meaningful about my shrinking feet. When I was a young girl, I struggled with the fact that my feet are very broad with a high instep and no arch. I had a lot of trouble finding shoes that would fit and were stylish. It always caused great angst to go shoe shopping and my mother did everything she could to encourage her daughter that a size 10 wide shoe at the age of 13 was not the end of the world but rather indicative of a young woman who had a "firm understanding, dear". A firm understanding of what I didn't quite understand at the time. Though I knew then as I know now she was trying to find some humor to lighten those very tense shopping trips which usually ended up in a flood of tears and self incrimination. As if I had control over the size of my feet. But really, what is a mother to say to her only long awaited daughter after raising 3 sons when she can't wear a cute pair of little strappy sandals with a sharp pair of linen shorts and a fun halter top because her feet are too big, her thighs rub together and prevent the shorts from staying in place and her shoulders are too broad for a decent halter top? Endless blisters in the name of fashion and a lack of appropriate
looking shoes for a teenager with large broad feet were just a part of
life. And the numerous summers at the beach wearing sneakers to walk in
the sand because I was not able to wear flip flops or huaraches are now sweet whimsical thoughts of a young girl coming of age in the '70's. So, when I have those glorious moments like I have had this morning with the shoe issue, those early days are just precious memories of a life that seems so long ago yet just like yesterday. I am so very, very grateful that I can walk and hike and take a stroll in the park to the extent that I wear out shoes and now literally walk/RUN out of them. Who would have thought? BE WELL ©2014 Heidi Parunak/TrinityFactor.info. All rights
reserved. This material may not be
published, rewritten, broadcast, recorded or redistributed without express
permission.
|
PASSAGES OF TIME (A Momma's thoughts On Children)
Posted on December 11, 2013 at 4:35 PM |
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I have had the most delightful nine months following the pregnancy and birth of a first child to a woman and her husband whom I met a year ago whose father delivered one of my own children. There was never a child more wanted than this little one who entered the world this morning. There are enough people who have witnessed and waited for this arrival as if she was their own. This is the beginning of a new family with hopes and dreams of their own not only for this child but for their own family unit. It has given me time to think of when I had my own four children. I relived those early days. I thought about those same four children who are now grown, some with children of their own. I thought about all those expectations you have of a child when they come into to the family. For me, I wanted them to be healthy, happy and do what they loved the most in their lives. Of course there were hidden expectations as well. I remember my own Mother teaching me that my children are not my own but rather loaned to me for a short, albeit brief time. She used to recite to me passages of Kahlil Gilbran, from his poem On Children the collection The Prophet. Looking back, I wonder if she was reminding herself of a universal truth when I was not doing something as she thought I should. I had four babies in four years. I have figured out that four children meant a total at least 10,000 diaper changes, most with cloth diapers (yes, I am dating myself). Equally as many bottles and sippy cups. Numerous lost socks, shoes that didn't match and mounds and mounds of laundry, dozen of Kleenex and at least 3 or 4 years of lost sleep. Untold hours of potty training, training pants, countless meals and dishes. As I was told as a young mother, "Where there is life, there is mess". And my 10 year old daughter confirmed that with her hands on her hips and disgust in her voice as she surveyed a messy house and commented, "Mommy, there must be an awful lot of life in this house". Yes, there was! And lots and lots of noise; laughter, tears, arguing and playing. A cacophony of sounds that I didn't realize at the time was a beautiful symphony of family. The years have flown by. The house is now clean and tidy. And very, very quite. Today, I pray my children are healthy and happy. Though it is none of my business, I do sigh and shrug my shoulders when I think they aren't being true to themselves and others. There are times when I wonder what they are doing and why they are making the decisions they make. I don't know the answers to those questions nor are they relevant. What I do know is that I love each one of them no matter where they are or what they are doing. Just when I want to snip their heads off, I remember them as the ones who came through me and that I held in my arms and nursed under my heart. I then remember those precious downy heads whose hair I brushed as until they could brush their own and it tempers my emotion. I cleaned their sweet bottoms. I washed their knees when they learned to crawl and their feet before they fell asleep in their beds after a day of play. I wiped their noses. I wiped my own nose when the bus pulled off on their first day of school. They are never far from my thoughts, they are indelibly marked in my heart and I am now comfortable in knowing that conflicting thoughts and emotions for children are all a part of parenthood. It is all a part of loving a child. So, I now understand the wisdom of my own Mother in teaching me the freedom of knowing who the ones that come from you really are and your place in their lives. Perhaps she taught me the most valuable lesson of the ultimate love of a mother for her child. On Children An excerpt from "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,
"Speak to us of Children". And he said: Your
children are not your children,
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but are not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You
may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You
are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and
He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So he loves also the bow that is stable. © 2013 Heidi Parunak/Trinity Factor.info. All
rights reserved. This material
may not be published, rewritten, broadcast, recorded or redistributed without
express permission.
|
ONE YEAR LATER
Posted on September 29, 2013 at 8:33 PM |
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So, here we are one year almost to the month when I was accepted for the Covenant Health Marathon Biggest Winner 2013 team. I am still overwhelmed and privileged to have been part of such a great group of folks, coaches and manager. As I write this post, I ponder where I was last year, where I am this year AND where I was four years ago in October 2009 weighing over 400 pounds. The best way to put this past year into perspective especially the past few months is to make a list of the high lights. I want this to be taken as braggadocios or self emulating. I don't want this to be taken as of self aggrandizement. I want this to be a testament to the fact that poor health can be reversed. A broken life can be renewed and restored. The rewards are numerous and aren't necessarily all tangible. So here goes----
The best news of all is that when I am out on the track or at the gym I do not think of myself as being 56 earthly years of age. I think of myself as timeless/ageless. My health continues to improve as does my energy level. I look forward to each new day with renewed hope and vigor. I can't imagine what my life would be like today if I had not been chosen for the CHMBW2013 team. Namaste and abundant, abundant blessings, Heidi SWR |
GET YOUR MOJO MOVIN’
Posted on August 21, 2013 at 2:31 PM |
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It has been a year since the
advertisement to apply for Biggest Winner 2013 came to my attention. Long story
short, I dared to apply. They dared to
accept my application. Oy gevalt! What were any of us thinking? I have struggled with a lot of regrets since
the 2013 CHKM that I did not work the Biggest Winner Challenge like I had wanted,
intended, or expected too. One of the
goals stated in my Biggest Winner 2013 Challenge application was that I wanted to
run. I had learned to walk again and now
I wanted to run. It didn’t work out that
way. I was bitterly disappointed. I felt I had blown my chance of a life time. After the team disbanded, I
continued on with my quest for spiritual, physical and emotional wellness. I have gone back to walking the track where my
quest started back in October of 2009. That track became my safe haven. It gave me the motivation to get out of bed to watch the sun rise over
the mountains. I enjoyed the anticipation
of the inky midnight blue sky of dawn come alive with ribbons of salmon pink
before the sun made its appearance. I
took solace and comfort on the days when drizzle or snow would become my mantel
surrounding me with the knowledge that life indeed goes on no matter what the
weather brings. I logged hundreds of miles
on that track as well as pounding out a lot of hurt and tears through the soles
of my shoes. Little did I know the
metaphorical life lessons I would learn from those early years of walking away
from the darkness of depression fear and panic attacks into the light of health
wellness and wholeness. For the past few weeks I
have been faithfully and religiously walking the track again. The mile track has benches every 1/8 of a
mile. This past week I began to WOG walk/jog alternating an 1/8 walk then an
1/8 mile jog (albeit slow jog). During
those walks I have been trying to reconcile some of those regrets of a year
ago. There were many valuable life lessons
learned that I am still applying. I
remembered those lessons I had heard our coach Missy Kane teach our team. I remembered our manger Tonya Stott-brown
and her smiling face and that “go-get ‘em” encouragement she had for us each every
time she saw us. I remembered the life
coaching lessons facilitated by life coach Chris O’Hearn where he encouraged us
to envision in our minds the individual desires or dreams we wanted for
ourselves. For me at that point in time
it was running; knees to the breeze, elbows pumping, the rhythmic whoosh of my
breath. Imaging what it would feel like for ME
to run. I remembered Joe “Suck it up”
Mitchell who patiently walked with me on that first early morning training with
the Knoxville Track Club and then later gave of his Saturday mornings at the
Fort Sanders Health and Fitness Center when a calf and ham string injury rendered
me to the recumbent bike. I will always
remember Joe’s unending patients with helping me overcome my fear of treadmills. I will always appreciate the fact that he
never verbally said “Suck it up, cupcake” (don’t even know if he was thinking
that) as he helped me to understand and overcome my fear of treadmills. I will always remember my
team mates who individually inspired me to greatness in their unique way. How I miss them. I remember thinking many times that my
acceptance to the team was a mistake and the powers that be didn’t have the
heart to tell me otherwise. I was way
out of my league with those folks! Fast forward to today when I
accomplished the beginning of
my hearts’ desire to run. TODAY my two mile loop consisted of
a 1/8 mile jog segment, two quarter mile jog segments finishing with another
1/8 mile jog segment. When I found
myself actually running the first quarter mile segment the lyrics of the tune
by Steppenwolf’s “Born to be Wild” popped into my head (no telling what else is
in the dark recesses of my mind) and I finished my laps on that rhythm. Feeling my body run, breathing even and body
strong I had the knowledge that what I did last year was phenomenal. How I processed and executed the opportunity was all a part of a bigger experience. Eighteen years stubbed up in depression, fear
and home bound. I was only three years out of the house in my wellness journey, clear
of mind. One year in volunteer work as a companion with home hospice. This old girl, still morbidly obese even after
dropping over 100 pounds DARED to apply for something that would thrust her into the public eye, photo
sessions, TV news programs, interviews and a marathon of all things. The powers that be DARED to give me a CHANCE OF A LIFE TIME. NO REGRETS! lyrics: Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Looking for adventure
In whatever comes our way Yeah, darlin'
Gonna make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space Like a true nature's child
We were born
Born to be wild
We can climb so high
I never wanna die
Born to be wild
Born to be wild “Born to be Wild”from Steppenwolf: All Time Greatest Hits Moving
Forward and Abundant, abundant blessings, Heidi
Parunak ©Heidi
Parunak/Trinityfactor.info.All rights reserved. This material may not be published,
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