TRINITY FACTOR
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BREATHING THE BEAUTY OF GRIEF
| Posted on November 7, 2015 at 12:47 PM |
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Recently I spoke with a friend of mine who is
experiencing intense grief due to a
tragic loss of a beloved. I too
have had many losses this year. More than
most people experience in a life time let alone a year., so I have been told. My losses may not be as
great as my friend’s loss, but I am finding that grief can be a relative term. In talking about ways to cope with grief
through distractions, the thought came to me that we never lose that
grief. I used to think that when that horrible
tearing pain of grief ended I would be able to move forward. And until that happened, I would seek
distractions to help me through the grief.
The reality is that the hole that grief bores in our heart stays and
morphs through time. A thought popped into my brain about the need for
distractions to walk through grief. Allowing the quest to find beauty in the
midst of my grief becomes my distraction. Allow living abundantly however that may
look for me, be my distraction to grief. As heavy laden my heart, may I quest
to find beauty again. And I am finding that
in the midst of discovering beauty, I might cry. Crying is the pressure valve to my heart-a sacred
act of worship.Tears are treasured by
the Creator.And they can help, even but
for a brief moment to wipe the scales of grief from my eyes. I mustn't fight grief; rather embrace the searing pain of loss that makes
beauty even more brilliant and precious when discovered. Beauty is beyond the
darkness. Like faith, beauty exists. It is a part of the focus when I open my
eyes, even just a wee peep to see the harsh light of my fractured, fragmented brokenness,
that becomes the beautiful stained glass mosaic of my life. Living is previous,
fragile, painful, bittersweet, and beautiful. I am discovering all at the same
time. Grief cannot be avoided. Grief is an inevitable part of life. I cannot
run from it, I cannot hide from it. From the time we are born, we are dying. It
is an undeniable and ever present cycle of life. And just as the four seasons
of life it has its’ place. Fall is necessary for death and decay to nourish new
life. Oh, the brilliant colors of Fall.
Winter is a time of rest and the killing of harmful germs amidst the frigid sparkly blue cold
of newly fallen snows that echo the quiet stillness of the earth. The Spring
that brings renewal-new life-abundant life.
The trickling of melting winter that heralds in the first peep of tender
new life springing up through the thaw. Then
comes the hot searing sun of Summer. A
time to play, explore and start the harvest for the coming winter. We all deal with grief differently. No one can tell us how we should dance to the
tune of grief. It is a journey that is
as individual as our thumbprints. Grief
is a dance partner that steps on our toes when we least expect it to
happen. Grief is the sucker punch of
life that takes our breath away. Beauty
is the inhale of living. I have come to realize that we basically are holding
our breaths in life. When a babe is born,
the first gulp of breath is a great lusty inhale. And the last breath of earthly life is an
exhale that can be as lengthy, agonizing or as suddenly as it takes to leave
our bodies. Holding my breath is exhausting at best and deadly,
as grief can be. Those moments between
breaths, like those moments between thoughts are where peace abides-Divine love.
BREATHE---BREATHE DEEPLY---BREATHE IN ABUNDANCE---BREATHE
DIVINE LOVE Namaste and Abundant Blessings--- Heidi Psalm 121:1-2 |
PEARL OF HOPE-MOUNTAINS OF FAITH
| Posted on June 6, 2015 at 2:26 PM |
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 In 2010, I had hit the track before dawn to walk off my already
anxious day. The full moon hung like a rare
pearl nestled in the gray velvet folds of the night sky. I asked Abba to please give me a sign of hope
that I would get through this very difficult time in my life. As I started my third and final mile of my
daily walk, I noticed the atmosphere grew darker and the temperature drop a few
degrees as it always does before the dawning of each new day. I waited in great anticipation for the first chirp of the morning
which would lead to a second note of awakening which would bring on a glorious
symphony of song much like Handel's Messiah, heralding in a new day with new
mercies. As promised, I heard the first
note and as I rounded the bend on the track, I looked up at the night sky which
winked the first hint of dawn. The
outline of the mountain range still shrouded by night began to appear and like
faith, the mountains were always there as they had been since the dawn of time
and will be long after I leave this earthly realm, I just couldn’t
see them through the darkness. I watched
the night sky turn a salmon pink hue and the pinnacles of the mountains began to
barely cast a golden glow. And just as I caught my breath at the beauty of the sunrise, a
gentle quite voice roared like a great ocean wave crashing on the dry shore of
my heart, "The same Creator, whose hand paints the first salmon swatch of
a brand new day, creates new mercies just for you. Mercies not left over from a
day that is gone and never to return, nor mercies borrowed from a day not yet
created nor promised. But brand new mercies
made for this brand new day just for you, Heidi, for such a time as this”. The infinite Creator who hung the rare pearl of a full moon
against the midnight gray velvet sky had me snuggled very close to the Divine
heart which beats as one with mine. The
tears in my eyes which had bogged my steps dried like diamonds, and my step
quickened for I knew that my petition for hope had been answered and my faith
strengthened---JUST FOR THIS DAY---. As I came off the track, the birds were in full chorus singing to
my now uplifted heart the psalm of ascents sung by the ancient shepherd
boy king, “I lift up my eyes unto the mountains-where does my help come
from? My help comes from the Lord, the
Maker of heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:1-2). Oh, Holy One of Many Names, thank you that your mercies for your beloved
children are new every morning. Make us
aware in a very real way, as only you can in our individual lives, how very
close you hold us to your heart and that your love for us is eternal. Amen. |