TRINITY FACTOR
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THE BED
| Posted on April 5, 2015 at 2:23 PM |
THE BED Let’s get this out on the table at the beginning of
this musing.  LIFE SUCKS! (sometimes) And I
am not going to sugar coat that fact nor is it necessary to do so. Life is not fair, nor is life just. I don’t why we presume it will be. Once I accepted that truth, it has made it
easier for me to not have unrealistic expectations of people, places or things. Life can be very, very difficult. Life can become unbearable and unmanageable. People can hurt and disappoint. People can be evil. People can be annoying. People can be self-serving, which is utterly
devastating. It is understandable how
one can lose the will to live. Yet, I
have to remember that ALL people must be treated with dignity and respect regardless
of their character defects as we ALL have them. I have been through a very difficult time in the
past few months of no harmful intent fault of my own.
I have felt devalued, abandoned, betrayed and for the most part like a disposable
commodity. And I have been banging
around trying to figure out where to go from here.
Yet, I have continued to walk through unexpected doors that opened as I have learned to do even though I am lacking in confidence and "want to". Because of that action, good things are coming my way but I have found no solace in those gifts
from above. So, last night being completely devastated, and
irritated, I asked The Creator to give me some sign that I was headed in the
right direction. I was getting weary of slaying
dragons that were finding their way to me.
And I was getting irritated with life in general. Just sayin’--- When I awoke, I decided that I was going to go to
Lowe’s to get some herbs for my kitchen.
Yesterday, I had helped to run an errand with a patient to get some
herbs for her home. For some reason, that
sparked my mojo. I rearranged the
kitchen to make a spot in the window for an herb box. And I decided to move my study around to another
room that has A LOT of light and space. Now
mind you, I am not a happy camper but no one promised that happiness is a
feeling. So, I proceed to move things
around. A few days ago, I saw a precious vintage steel bed
frame for sale outside of a home in the neighborhood. It had a homemade sign that said, FOR
SALE-STEEL BED-$40. I couldn’t shake the
thought of that bed and knew that was the perfect thing to put in my study to
have a place to rest between studies and writing. Somehow I got my mojo going to potentially move furniture, and set out to
find that house. We are in a cold snap, it was early and I didn’t
expect the bed to be outside or available.
I prayed to find the house with hopes of knocking on the door and meeting
the owner. I drove around the neighborhood
trying to remember where I had noticed that bed and I saw a woman outside a
house having her morning smoke. I
paused, rolled down the car window and asked if this was the house that had the
steel bed for sale. Her eyes lit up and
she said, “Yes, it is”. She invited me
to the porch to fetch a piece of the bed for me to look at when I heard a man’s
voice request that I come in. There in the
living room surrounded by medical supplies lay a man in a hospital bed who was
the owner of the steel bed. He wanted to
sell the bed to make room for a larger bed when he moves back into his bed room
in hope of his recovery. The woman who is his sister and now his care giver
introduced us. The man proceeded to tell
me the story of the bed. It was one of
two beds that his father rescued from the Old Knoxville Hospital before it was
torn down many, many years ago and is now the site of the Knox County Health
Department. This was the better of the
two beds and the other had long been disposed of. His father had painted it yellow. I told them a bit about myself, my call and where my
future was taking me and the man’s eyes lit up as he had been a long term
employee of the hospital that I will be doing a CPE internship beginning this May. He and his sister are people of faith. And as we chatted, I realized that this steel
bed, that I have intentions of putting in my study came from an old hospital
and had held those patients I love and whom I am called and long to serve. I made the transaction, gave them my phone number,
hugged some necks and noticed their eyes shown brighter then when we first met. I don’t think that it takes a rocket
scientist to realize that this was no coincidence that I should seek out this
bed from a humble home, with humble people trying to make ends meet at the last
of the month before payday by selling a priceless family heirloom to a
struggling chaplain trying the best she can to make sense out of a vapor called
life which was never meant to make sense as life is a mystery--- (The afghan on the bed is one my mother made when I went to Maryville College. She made all of her children afghan's in their school colors and the year of their projected graduation. My graduation date is a bit different but then again so am I---) |
Categories: GRIEF, MOVING FORWARD
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